A 13 year old boy from Texas is convicted of fraud after using his Father’s credit cards to hire escorts.

A 13 year old from Texas who stole his Dad’s credit card and ordered two hookers from an escort agency, has today been convicted of fraud and given a three year community order.

Ralph Hardy, a 13 year old from Newark, Texas confessed to ordering an extra credit card from his father’s existing credit card company, and took his friends on a $30,000 spending spree, culminating in playing “Halo” on an Xbox with a couple of hookers in a Texas motel.

The credit card company involved said it was regular practice to send extra credit cards out as long as all security questions are answered.

The escort girls who were released without charge, told the arresting officers something was up when the kids said they would rather play Xbox than get down to business.

Police said they were alerted to the motel by a concerned delivery clerk, whom after delivering supplies of Dr Pepper, Fritos and Oreos had been asked by the kids where they could score some chicks and were willing to pay. They explained they had just made a big score at a “World of Warcraft” tournament and wanted to get some relaxation. On noting the boys age the delivery clerk informed the authorities.

When police arrived at the motel they found $3,000 in cash, numerous electronic gadgets, an Xbox video console with numerous games, and the two local escort girls.

Ralph had reportedly told police that his father wouldn’t mind, as it was his birthday last week and he had forgot to get him a present. The father, a lawyer said he had been too busy, but would take him on a surprise trip to Disneyland instead.

Asked why he ordered two escorts, Ralph said he thought it was the thing to do when you win a “World of Warcraft” tournament. They told the suspicious working girls they were people of restricted growth working with a traveling circus, and as State law does not allow those with disabilities to be discriminated against they had no right to refuse them.

The $1,000 a night girls sensing something up played “Halo” on the Xbox with the kids, instead of selling their sexual services.

Ralph’s ambition is to one day become a politician.

Why would you get 2 x $1000 hookers and not fuck them?

So, I had to think about this for a long long time because it just did not make sense to me. I would’ve been on top of those overpriced bitches in under a minute (who cares if I’m a woman, right?) especially if I had to pay $1000 for them. Come on, for $1000/night, the hookers must have been smokin’ hott. I came up with few reasons why they would not sleep with a hooker, just for kicks:

5. STD’s

4. They did not want to cheat on their imaginary girlfriends.

3. They were scared to lose their virginities.

2. Even though they were not Asian, they had small penis’, so they were afraid of being laughed at.

1. They couldn’t decide who would go first (which I understand…sloppy seconds sounds very undesirable).

Check out the original article.

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Time for another dose of lunacy. Pretty soon you’ll be addicted.

Long ago, I found this hilarious website, but I forgot about it until I saw a sketch on Daily Show today. This website makes abstinence look great, fun, and even possibly sexually appealing!

Highlights from AbstinenceOnly.org (seriously, it exists -Lulu)

Home Page

“Here’s some fun things that faith partners can do besides have sex.” -Yay, fun!
“1) Go out to a movie or watch TV! Make some popcorn and have a popcorn party!” -Boring
“2) Engage in wholesome sports activities or play board games like checkers, chess or Monopoly!” -Yawn
“3) Rigorously rub your face, body and genitalia against those of your faith partner until orgasm. (Also known as ‘faith-fucking’)” -Now, we’re talking!

Ask Dr. Frist

“Remember also that whenever you masturbate, God kills a kitten.” -Geez, only one kitten?

“A Special Note to you Gals…Girls, make no mistake: your virginity is the most valuable and precious thing you have. Don’t waste it. I say this not only as a doctor and man of faith, but also as a political leader with close personal ties to rich, powerful men willing to pay millions for virgins in their twenties. Seriously: Millions.” -Sounds like a good deal, so…who do I call?

Homosexual Abstinence

“The Bible states it plainly in Leviticus: “Man shall not lie with man as he does with woman.” So there you have it: Standard Missionary is right out. For the gals: you’re off the hook. Anything goes. As far as the Lord’s concerned, it’s Beaver Season all year ‘round.” -O RLY? Dam…

Do I have your interest piqued now? For more abstinence action, visit www.abstinenceonly.org

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Lulu’s Lunacy: While looking on Craig’s List (Boston), I found this very tantalizing post:

$1400/4BR - Unique housing situation in Brighton. I’m going to Europe! (Brookline/Coolidge corner)

I have a really nice six bedroom in Brookline. I will sublet you the house and you can only use the two bedrooms. They are huge! 250 square feet. I use the other bedrooms for my pet chickens and snakes (10 pythons they are about 8 feet long). I use the chickens to feed them. There are probably 30 or so chickens and hens they lay eggs and don’t sqwack too much! They are all well behaved and will not bother you. I will charge you $1300. No one else will be there just the animals.

I am traveling to Europe and Africa and need someone to watch over my stuff while i’m gone. You can have the place furnished or unfurnished. Parking is included and so is the stuff listed below. Please let me know if this sounds like something you would like. You would just have to feed my Pythons and chickens. Really easy!!!!

It comes with 70 inch plasma tv
Granite counters
Stainless steel appliances
Marble bathroom
Jacuzzi
Sauna
Infa-Red security system
Large private roof deck with custom grill and built in bar
Pool that you would have to take care of if filled
4 car garage
Batting cage
basked ball court
Heat and hot water included

Regards,

-(censored also)

Don’t believe me? Check it out yourself. (Craig’s list links expire after about week, so you had better hurry!)

Please post any and all questions/comments/concerns. I would love to generate an active and lively discussion.

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This is my very first time writing for Collegebeing. This is very exciting! I guess you are all curious as to who I am, but that will have to wait for another time. For now, I would like to recruit as many readers as possible, and since I enjoy reading Top Ten lists, here is my very own:

TOP TEN REASONS WHY YOU WILL READ MY POSTS

You will read my posts because…

10. You have a kind and cherishing heart and would love to nourish a blossoming young writer.

9. You have good taste.

8. You f34r my n4k3d 1337 ski11z.

7. You would like to read good literature but are too lazy to visit the library.

6. You have nothing better to do.

5. I know how to kill you using only diet coke and some cardboard.

4. I can click my mouse 5000 times in under 1 minute.

3. I am the puppet master of the world.

2. I am the closest you can get to ultimate wisdom.

1. I am undeniably irresistible, and you would like some more.

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