In case you haven’t been following this story, here’s a link. Back in 2006, three police officers shot a man named Sean Bell 50 times as he was leaving a strip club during his bachelor party. Bell and his friends were unarmed. The cops claimed they had reason to believe that Bell was going for a gun, and apparently that justified not only shooting Bell, but in the case of one officer emptying his gun, reloading, and emptying it again. At no point were the officers ever actually under fire, or even under threat of violence, but apparently Detective Michael Oliver felt that he needed to fire 31 rounds to take Bell down.

Here’s a bit of a lesson: Police officers, and really anyone who takes firearm courses, are taught in general to fire two to four shots at the target’s center of mass. Had each of the officers followed these guidelines, the shooting would still not have been justified, but at least they would have only expended 10-12 rounds total. Nowhere in police operating doctrine does it instruct officers to empty their magazine, reload, and empty it again when they are not under fire.

Not that this mattered to the courts. Once again, the justice system deemed the words and actions of police officers infallible. Just as in the case of Amadou Diallo, a man who about a decade back was shot 41 times by police officers, the officers who murdered Sean Bell were acquitted of all charges.

And the police wonder why we don’t trust them…

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Charlton Heston, best known for his roles in the Planet of the Apes series and Ben Hur, as well as his leadership of the National Rifle Association and his civil rights activism alongside Martin Luther King Jr., died today at the age of 84. RIP Taylor.

Now you can have his gun.

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Honestly, I can’t see this turning out well for the anti-gun folks in any case. Best case scenario for the Brady Campaign types is that the Court declares the Second Amendment a collective right, rather than an individual one, at which point you’re going to have all of us gun nuts forming/joining militias–the National Guard wasn’t formed till the 20th century, so it’d be difficult to argue that the Founders intended that as the “well regulated militia,” rather than citizen militias–in order to firmly establish members’ rights to bear arms. Given that current US Code defines the “militia” as both the National Guard/Coast Guard and all able-bodied males between 17 and 45 (plus, presumably, women who volunteer–the code hasn’t been updated in almost a century), even that might as well be an individual right. Worst case scenario for the antis is that the Court declares gun ownership an individual right not subject to restriction, which would basically negate all gun control beyond background checks, if that. The most likely scenario in my opinion, based on the oral arguments, is that the Court will rule that the Second Amendment is an individual right but subject to “reasonable restriction,” much like the First Amendment doesn’t mean you can commit libel with impunity.
Even if that last scenario happens though, the best precedent for “reasonable regulation” of guns was set down in US v. Miller, the only other Second Amendment Supreme Court case with any real weight. In that case, a man’s conviction for transporting a sawed-off shotgun across state lines in violation of the National Firearms Act of 1934 was upheld by the Court–not because the Second Amendment didn’t apply, but because the weapon in question was deemed not suitable for militia duty. The logical extension of that, of course, is that any weapon suitable for militia duty (which at this point in time means fully-automatic or select-fire weapons) should be legal for civilians to own without undue restriction. The Miller ruling never addressed this point, but if Heller leads to the Second Amendment being declared an individual right, it’s entirely possible that within a few years the only permissible restriction on gun ownership by civilians will be background checks and weapons that you couldn’t use in a war.

Whatever happens, it’ll be interesting to watch.

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Now, I’m just going to ignore the fact that Couch obviously doesn’t give two shits about free speech; there’s no way this bill could actually be enforced even if it passes, so it’s not really a danger. Instead, I’m just going to ridicule him. I understand that not everyone knows a whole lot about how the Internet works, but you’d think that maybe one of his aides could have pointed out that there are websites on the Internet that are not hosted in eastern Kentucky. As a matter of fact, there are very few websites hosted in eastern Kentucky, because Kentucky sucks ass (sorry, readers who live in Kentucky. To clarify, I’m not sorry about what I said; I’m sorry you live in Kentucky). I’m not entirely sure how Couch thinks that the Kentucky state legislature has the power to regulate the Internet–you know, the same Internet that contains the World Wide Web–but I’d really like to see him try. Am I going to be extradited to Kentucky if I post anonymously on Slashdot? What if we use a fake alias (also known as a “screen name”)? The article reports that Couch’s bill would fine website operators $500 for the first time they allow anonymous posting and $1000 for each time after that. Does that mean collegebeing.com will owe Kentucky money because we allowed “heywood jablome” to post a comment a while back? After all, he’s not technically anonymous, and to the best of my knowledge is name really is Heywood.

None of this, of course, is addressed in Couch’s bill, because he thinks the fact that people can see his Myspace page (and even say mean things without being put in jail!) while he’s in Kentucky means that the state legislature has the power, authority, knowledge, and technology to regulate the Internet. I’m pretty sure this dumbass actually gives Ted “Series of Tubes” Stevens a run for his money for the “Worst Governmental Understanding of How Something Works” award.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to post anonymously on a website designed by a guy in California and hosted in Nevada while I download music from computers worldwide via a hash file hosted by a server in Sweden. Suck on that, Kentucky.

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The DRM fiasco, not to mention the well-publicized lawsuits against file-sharing college kids, show the full lack of a clue that the RIAA has with regard to the Internet. They seem to believe that information and digital media can be regulated, that the Internet will eventually bow to corporate demands, lawsuits, or legislation. One glance at popular BitTorrent website The Pirate Bay’s legal threats page is enough to show that the old techniques of copyright protection no longer work. Even if the Pirate Bay’s Swedish servers are shut down, file-sharing sites will pop up in even less regulated countries.

The RIAA claims that downloading music is the same as stealing (according to those ads we’ve all seen, it’s apparently the same as stealing a car) and should be prosecuted by the law. When, where, and under what circumstances that’s actually true is debatable, but in the end it doesn’t matter whether or not it’s illegal. Music is no longer simply a product. It’s not something that can be created, polished, marketed, sold, and merchandised by a handful of corporate executives. The minute any sort of digital media is released, it’s available for download via BitTorrent and other file-sharing services. Even if the corporate lawyers somehow manage to shut these down, something new will pop up. Remember how the RIAA was all happy when the first iteration of Napster got shut down, thinking they had gotten rid of illegal file-sharing forever? Yeah, not so much. Unless they can shut down the entire Internet, file-sharing will never stop. Now that the cat’s out of the bag, and people realize that there’s no reason to pay $18 for an overproduced CD when they could just get the music for free, the days of traditional CD releases are numbered.

So what can the record companies do, given this new environment? The short answer: Pretty much nothing. The longer answer: their only shot is to attempt to adapt to the Internet. It used to be that all they had to do was find, polish, and market an artist that the market research indicated would be successful. This stifled creativity; when success in the music business relies on an artist being similar to one that’s already successful, it’s no surprise that nearly everything released on a major label sounded the same as something else released on a different major label. They could print and package CD’s, deliver them, and make obscene profits on what is basically a piece of plastic with digital information etched onto it. Now that’s changed. Music itself is no longer (or at least, will soon no longer be) a profitable product. The record companies now have two choices: They can adapt–perhaps giving the CD away free or giving a download code with the purchase of merchandise, in order to encourage a profitable fan base that is willing to purchase actual physical products in lieu of spending exorbitant amounts to something that’s available for free with a couple clicks–or they can die out. Unfortunately for them, they all seem to be stuck about twenty years back, thinking that releasing a Torrent is somehow akin to, and as localized as, making a copy of a tape and giving it to friends. In all likelihood, the executives won’t bother trying to change until it’s far too late–which it may already be, given that bands like Radiohead and Nine Inch Nails have shown that even major artists can cut out what is essentially an expensive and domineering middleman–and they will fold.

However, this is actually good news for consumers. We will be able to return to an equal playing field where musicians are judged on talent rather than on their ad campaigns. In addition to allowing consumers to download music for free, it allows us to easily find new artists that suit our tastes, purchase concert tickets, and buy merchandise. No-talent ass clowns like Ashlee Simpson or Nickelback will see an end to their corporate-sponsored careers, and for the first time since the development of record companies, the free market, talent, and consumer taste will dictate successful acts, instead of some executive’s market research. I for one welcome the new order.

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About a year and a half ago, pro-gun groups and Utah lawmakers challenged the University of Utah’s policies barring concealed carry permit holders from carrying their weapons on campus. It went to the Utah Supreme Court and there it was decided that the university’s policy violated the Utah Constitution.

When the decision was handed down, there was much hand-wringing about how classroom disagreements would turn into shootouts, drunk fratboys would turn Greek Row into a firing range every Saturday night, and roommates would murder each other whenever one of them stayed up too late playing video games. Did any of this happen? Of course not. The nationwide rate of revocation for concealed carry permits is less than 1%, and most of the revocations are for nonviolent misdemeanors. People who have concealed carry permits are not the kind of people who are going to randomly murder their fellow students. Likewise, the kind of people who are going to randomly murder their fellow students are not going to bother getting a permit, and they sure as hell won’t be deterred by a little sign that says “This is a gun free zone.”

We should have learned this by now. Every major mass shooting in the last decade has taken place in a “gun free zone.” NIU, Virginia Tech, the Crossroads Mall in Omaha, Trolley Square in Utah. Every single one barred permit holders from carrying their guns. When Virginia Tech banned concealed carry on their campus, the school’s president said that it would make students, faculty, and visitors “feel safe.” Unfortunately, there is a difference between feeling safe, and actually being safe. Yet despite the tragedies that occur when the right of self-defense is prohibited, people still think that the solution is to keep law-abiding citizens from carrying guns, thus making them easy, defenseless targets for the psychos and murderers who shoot up public places.

To be clear, I’m not saying that allowing concealed carry on campus will necessarily put an end to school shootings. There are far too many variables for that. But wouldn’t it be better to at least give college students a fighting chance, instead of hoping that the cops show up before too many people die?

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• The best part about living with a bunch of people is when you walk into the kitchen/common area and start making food, only to realize that the two people who were already in there are discussing deeply personal relationship issues. And you just have to stand there while your steak cooks, listening to drama and feeling vaguely voyeuristic. I’m awkward enough already, I don’t need shit like this.
• Do you ever get little cuts inside your mouth? Like at the very bottom of the inside of your lip, right up against the base of your gums? And you can’t do anything but wait for it to heal? I hate that.
• One would think that it’d be really easy to find gifts for people in a foreign country, that my Christmas shopping would almost do itself. Unfortunately, unless you have a lot of friends who are really into tacky tourist crap, it’s actually just as difficult as doing it at home, with the added joy of disgustingly high shipping costs and exchange rates. I have a number of friends who are getting gift cards again this year; they’re the ones who are getting anything at all.
• I knew, in sort of a vague sense, that Harrod’s in London was expensive. I thought “well, it’s Christmas, if I can find something really good on sale for someone it might be worth it.” I went in and found a scarf that would be perfect for a friend of mine. It was £399. I had to double check to make sure I hadn’t mentally moved the decimal. For those of you in the US, yes, that’s a SCARF–a nice piece of fabric, for God’s sake–that would have cost me $800, a little over half the expected cost of my two weeks in Italy.
• It turns out that even though I tend to feel kind of lame eating alone in a restaurant that doesn’t have a menu over the counter, it’s actually kind of beneficial. I went to the Hard Rock Cafe tonight because I was in the mood for a huge-ass burger. The group of four people behind me had a wait of over two hours before they’d be seated. I told the host that I was there by myself; he said to go in and find a place at the bar. Bitchin’.
• As I was eating my deliciously huge-ass burger, two young ladies came in to try and find seats at the bar. There were two free seats, one on either side of me. I insisted on moving behind the pillar so they could sit together and order without a great deal of effort. They bought me a beer when they got their drinks. The lesson, guys: Be nice, you might get free beer.
• Everywhere in London is currently sold out of AA batteries, apparently.
• I saw a kid with blue hair sitting on the bus on the way home. On the back of his jacket was a patch that said “XS PUNK.” I’m still wondering if that means “Excess Punk,” “Extra-Small Punk,” or something else entirely.
• I hate to be the guy who comes out of his room on a Friday night to ask people to quiet down, but seriously dude, it’s 4 in the morning and you’re singing Anglican hymns. What the hell?

That’s about it for now, I think. I’m off to watch the Futurama movie.

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Yes, that is a sheep eating a man’s face. Courtesy of IMDB.

Let me start by saying this: Black Sheep is a movie about genetically engineered, man-eating sheep. If that makes you think “Oh man, what a great idea for a movie!” continue reading. If you think that sounds retarded, skip this article. This movie is not for you.

So you think a movie about genetically engineered, man-eating sheep is awesome. Good. You really can’t do any better in that category than Black Sheep. The plot, such as it is, involves a greedy farm owner who, in his attempts to create a better breed of sheep, has accidentally engineered evil mutant sheep, who not only eat people, but have the ability to turn humans into one of them.

Yes, you read that right. This movie has zombie sheep in it. I don’t know that this film could be improved in any way.

Anyway, a couple dirty hippies sneak onto the farm with the intent of liberating the poor sheep. Of course, as dirty hippies tend to do, they overlooked the fact that it might not be a good idea to fuck with things you don’t understand, and release the plague of killer sheep.

This movie is not for the weak of stomach. There is plenty of gore (both animal and human), some rather distressing nudity, and insinuations of sheep-shagging. But if you can enjoy a movie like this, and you have an odd/New Zealand sense of humor, you’ll love Black Sheep. Do yourself a favor and pick it up.

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• You pretty much cannot get anything done on Sundays in England. The Tube and rail systems have limited departures, the buses cut their running times in half, and the normally 24 hour supermarket closes at 4:00 PM for no apparent reason. This was especially irritating when the first night we were here was a Sunday, and it was much more difficult than it should have been to obtain beer.
• I really hate people who get impatient on elevators (”lifts,” I guess I should be calling them). I live in a 14-story tower, with 12-13 people on each floor. I cannot count the number of times that someone from the 13th or 14th floor has constantly sighed or rolled their eyes on the way down when the elevator stops at a few floors. Sorry to make you wait ten seconds to get where you’re going, asshole, but I don’t really feel like walking nine flights of stairs every time I go to class. If you don’t like stopping for other people, you can take the fucking stairs. Prick.
• You know how a lot of gas station and other skeezy bathrooms in the United States have crappy generic condoms available from vending machines? Well, those are all over the place in England, only they have actual name-brand condoms in them. This surprised me. More surprising, however, was the fact that one of the bathrooms on campus here has a sex toy vending machine. No, I am not joking. For anywhere from £3-5, you can get fuzzy handcuffs, a vibrator, “blue pills” that are apparently generic Viagra, a vibrating cock ring, and inexplicably, an inflatable sheep, which I can only hope is meant as a joke. It’s kind of odd. On the plus side though, I know where to go if I am in dire need of fuzzy handcuffs some evening.
• British Mexican food SUCKS. Seriously, don’t even bother. A friend and I went to a Mexican restaurant to see what it was like; I’m from Utah and she’s from California, so we were missing good Mexican food pretty quick. The menu was not particularly promising–it referred to a quesadilla as a “Mexican pancake stuffed with cheese and meat,” so we knew we weren’t going to get the authenticity we’re used to. I ordered a burrito. What I got was a tortilla folded into a square with ground beef and black beans inside and nothing on top. There was decent guacamole and pico de gallo on the side, as well as “Mexican rice” that was apparently normal rice, only with corn and peas in it. We asked for hot sauce; they brought us an approximation of salsa that made the whole thing about as spicy as your average frozen burrito. The food itself wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t Mexican. On the plus side drinks were half-price that evening. Also, I had the foresight to bring a large bottle of Cholula with me so I can at least make my own Mexican food.
• This brings me to another point regarding Mexican food: immigration. Say what you will about job loss, wage depression, taxes, social burdens, etc. Some of those are valid arguments and some aren’t. However, regardless of any other issues with immigration, I think anti-immigration groups in the US are missing a huge point: If we don’t have any more people coming up from Mexico, our Mexican food will start to suck. The reason British Mexican food sucks is because there are no Mexicans for 5000 miles, except maybe a few who come here on vacation and can’t even find a goddamn Taco Bell. The reason the British have such excellent curry, however, is because they have a large number of Indian and Middle Eastern immigrants. All other arguments aside, I believe in opening our border for the sole purpose of having awesome food widely available.
• Time Crisis 2 is really not that hard to beat. I usually stop playing after dying once, so I’ve never beaten it before (except maybe when I was like 12 or something). Today I forgot what room my class was in and decided to play Time Crisis instead. I had to put in a grand total of three coins, beat the game, and felt all epic until the timer told me I had spent just under 20 minutes beating the entire thing. That’s honestly pretty lame.
• I’m quitting smoking, or seriously cutting back at least. Not because I want to; I could honestly give a shit about all the health stuff. No, the reason I’m quitting is because a pack of cigarettes here is almost £6, which at the current exchange rate equals out to about $12. Much as I enjoy smoking, I really can’t justify paying $12 for a pack of cigarettes, especially if I’m going through two or three packs a week like I usually do. I may buy myself a pack as a Christmas present or something, who knows. It’s especially disgruntling because my flat allows smoking in the rooms, so this is more than likely the one time I’ll be able to smoke a cigarette while watching TV on my computer, and I have to quit (or at least limit myself to a pack a month or something, but that might be difficult). Fucking exchange rate.

Anyway, that’s about it for now. I’ll try to write something here more than once a month.

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• Ashlee Simpson
• Avril Lavigne
• Backstreet Boys
• Britney Spears
• Christina Aguilera
• Green Day (which would be okay if it weren’t for the fact that the only album she has is American Idiot)
• Gwen Stefani
• Justin Timberlake
• Kelly Clarkson
• Pink>
• Savage Garden
• The Pussycat Dolls

These artists made up the bulk of her library, except for a few artists I didn’t recognize (probably terrible British pop artists). I no longer feel bad about the noise complaint; actually, I’m considering buying a pair or really large speakers, pointing them directly at the ceiling, and playing the Dead Kennedys on repeat.

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