How to Get a Hot Girlfriend, Guaranteed!
If you currently do not have a hot girlfriend or have never had one, then you are the problem. Change yourself with these helpful hints and you are sure to get some hot babes crawling all over you. [Note: The lower number means that rule is more important, e.g., rule #1 is the most important, followed by rule #2, etc.]
Rule #1: Stop being yourself. As mentioned above, yourself sucks. If you are reading this article, you probably want to grab some hot girlfriend ass, but you can’t because you don’t have a hot girlfriend. Solution: Do an Obama and change!
Rule #2: Stop being poor. If you are rich, you can get any girl you want. You can just buy women. Not all women can be bought (most of them can), but let’s not get too picky… We just want to get you one hot girlfriend to start with.
Rule #3: Stop having a small penis. If you have a small penis a girl is going to have sex with you and not feel anything, if you even convince her to have sex with you in the first place. Stop having a small penis right now! Wishful thinking is your best tool here. You gotta think really had though. Go!
Rule #4: Stop being skinny/fat/nerdy. All of these can be fixed with enough protein and weight lifting. Go chow down on a pound of tofu and do 500 push ups. Maybe then you will be too tired to care that you do not have a hot girlfriend.
Rule #5: Stop being nice. Women (at least the hot ones) hate nice men. Treat them like crap and they will keep coming back. They are masochistic little creatures.
[Picture by Brandon Shigeta]
I think point 6 should be to stop reading articles about how to get a hot girlfriend
[...] link: Great advice for a common problem for college guys [College [...]
i think you are a moron personally, i mean, if you are fat or skinny, yes, work out to keep a lean hard body, dont change yourself, if a woman cant accept you for who you are you might as well pick up a hooker, if your poor? well maybe you should just become financially stable first, after all, women that are bought are called hookers or trophy wifes lol
Does nobody else see that this article is blatantly meant to be a parody?
lol this is the fuckin best article so far, but im still fuckin lonely
Yea first of all obama is a muslim 2nd his preacher said gd america which is not in the bible and 3 i thought this was to help guy’s get a girl not talk about obama.
Your an idiot! This article is by the WORST article I have ever read on dating! Either your a faggot or a slimy slut who can’t even get herself a a good decent boyfriend. This article is so shallow. (I guess nerds such as myself as inferior to these type of women huh?)
hi. i like hot girls.. can i have one..
Wow:) This is really funny and it has some truths to it, just as advice for the totaly shy nerdy dude its totally bad.Only after being with lods of women and being with hot women can you see the truths apply.
1 is totally true, you need to change, so get some self help, a pickup mentor or start with reading the game by neil strauss.
2 is totally irellevant, you do not need to be rich or even good looking to get the hottest girls possible.
3 - well…if you are that unlucky…:(
4 - true, confidence in your body will show through and help you with confidence with women
have a look at my blog
http://www.upgradereality.com
peace out!
hahaha
this is hilarious
Thanks for all the thoughtful comments so far everyone. Just for the record, it was meant to be a parody as Kayvan said. Pretty much everything on College Being is not to be taken too seriously. :)
dis gay crap is well gay
LOL… Hilarious blog… blunt and to the point!
Its so f*cking true, and yet it is not at all constructive!
If you want a hot gf… stop being a bitch - looking for advice - and be more of a man!
I know it’s a parody, but I don’t think that makes it ok. for three main reasons
1) Making fun of women in a stereotypical way reinforces those stereotypes
2)The people Who find it funny, seem to be finding it funny in a “haha so true!” way, as opposed to the “haha what a freak for thinking that” way
3) It’s a cheap joke. Seriously, a cocker spaniel reading comedy for dummies could make this.
Try harder or don’t publish it. The internet is overflowing with crap as it is
@Anonymous: Somebody is obviously bitter about not having a hot girlfriend…
First, I think rule #5 should be moved up the list, if you ever listen to girls talk (not reccomended) they always say how their current bf’s are such jerks… they just want to be treated like a little dog so they don’t need to think themselves. Secondly, if you’re rich it’s true that you can get most hot ones, and if one resists don’t worry, just toss that one aside like a piece of garbage because 10 more are waiting…. case in point, Rock of Love haha.
im what lots of guys consider a hot girl i guess. i have to disagree on some things here. just be urself and confidence will come as a result of being real. Do not try to be fake, girls will see this. Have a few nice things that show you have good taste, def dress good and be willing to treat ur girl every now an then, being rich is NOT required. Girls want the same things u do in a person. You can make urself hotter just by improving ur wardrobe and showing u have good taste and being true to urself, but at the same time considering others-this is VERY attractive. Case in point; i know thin guys who do these things an they are very very hot. Good hair is essential, so go get a new look if you need to. Honestly look at urself and improve those things that may be standing in ur way! Think what u like in people, yanno, and work to obtain those attractive qualities you desire in others.
And just talk to hot girls like you would anyone else. We are in the same boat as you, we are shy too. i talk to hot guys like they’re a real person, and this works very well and helps me get over my shyness cause im being honest and real and caring, this will help build confidence. Also look at how you act, see how celeb guys are so laid-back and confident? Dont thrash around and act like a moron; you dont like girls like that. I hate the term “nice guys” cause many of these guys are really just retards that dont think for themselves and they try way too hard (fake) to get something… and then when they dont get their way, they whine about how nice guys dont get anything! They are pushy and try too hard to please , u know that turns u off when a girl does that to you, think about it. Be relaxed, there WILL be a hot girl for you, it may take a while for it to all happen, but it will if you dont settle, but be realistic as well.
If you have a small penis, then make urself as hot as you can in all other areas, girls will still be crazy about you, trust me. The point is, you have to come to the bargaining table with SOMETHING, if you want to come away with that which you are looking for.
And dont treat girls like shit, but like you want to be treated. But be true to you, say no sometimes to a girl. Cause being wishy washy is a huge turn off. While ur girl may not like it, she will respect you for having some balls-that is being a man. And if u have a GF that cant handle this, then u better get a new one lol, trust me, save urself a lot of trouble on that. Geez, i cudda wrote this stupid article!
this is hilarious.
i loved it. i keep making jokes about it since i read it.
i think people just need to lighten up.
the funny thing is most hot girls are that shallow.
so its not taht far from the truth BECAUSE OF HER!
not because of him.
but it is hilarious.
i laugh at it.
cause although i might not be hot im exactly like that on the surface.
why is it that every hot girl has a hot guy?
dude wtf
Well said, finally a good report on this stuff
This is the most fucked up peace of shit i;ve ever heard and why the fucking hell are you talking about obama are you fucking stupid in the head :-)
wanted women to email me .. jackson_walter@yahoo.com
i want enjoy with sex
what is the sex talk with me
dude red the holl thing it gave me sumthing gave me 2 improve my self dude i wnt say sumthing 2 u there is gurl in my class she is damn hot i like but i cunt talk 2 her cz sumthing keep pulling me give sum advice n another think the day came 2 sch i was watching that she is damn beautiful i was wow.i was try 2 say that i like but still couldnt then last week she left sch in that day i told her frnd that tell her that tell her that i wnt 2 talk 2 her then she said kk after sch cum n meat me then i couldnt go cz my frnd was with but the truth is she is a slut so got sum shit that she drank alcohol n she was fried so she e-mail her i mail her hall bloady story bt no reply still cz her mother wnt let her go out,no phones she has 1,no mail,nuthing thats a problem i have a home no but i cnt talk 2 her cz her mum mill fuk me up n down.so what do have 2 do advice email me plz bro.t.c.peace.lol.p