How to Survive a Ninja Attack

[Thanks Ning]

Step 1. Avoid Eye Contact

Never look a ninja directly in the eyes. You will become temporarily blinded. The best way to avoid eye contact while still winning the fight is to blindfold yourself. This way you will not be tempted to look into those dark, mysterious eyes of pure evil.

Step 2. Hidden Weapons

If you ever plan on surviving a ninja attack, you must be ready at all times of the day. You will need to hide katanas in the shower, throwing stars under your bed, guns inside your hemp protein boxes. You get the idea. You must always have at least two weapons within arms’ reach in case one gets compromised.

Step 3. Body Guards

Hiring your own personal body guards is a great way to distract ninjas. Ninjas have a need to kill and will be easily distracted by body guards you have hired to project you. While the ninjas are slashing their swords through you body guard, you should already be out the door. This brings me to my last point:

Step 3. When All Else Fails: Run For Your Life!

Most people will be unable to defeat a ninja in true hand-to-hand combat. If you do not have an advantage, you must run for your life. All ninjas will either be faster than you or have the ability to teleport. Also, do not hide in dark places because ninjas can see perfectly in the dark.

Good luck!

Share your own tips on how you managed to escape a ninja attack in the comments below. Others may benefit.

3 Thoughts on “How to Survive a Ninja Attack”

  1. Anyone can become a ninja, but only the most noble can be a Samurai. I’m a Samurai. And Ninjas fear me!

  2. thanks.. bt pls tell where v can get trainin to b a ninja

  3. lol ninjas can see in the dark i’ll tell you the real secret .
    If you think this is fake it’s just you that sucks. Look around the area or object 360 in fast flicking motion left,right,up,down. Cannot scan the area in centre of eyes must be 5-10 degrees if u do it forms in con region which is bad when at the corner left,right,up, down it forms in rod that can see in dark. Blink every 5 sec so rod stays fresh. Practise makes perfect it takes 30 min until u can see in dark but this is only less than 1min. And wear dark blue hard for people 2 see in dark blue not black coming from movies it stand out no ninjutsu dojo will teach you this power except one…..
    I am a real ninja n this is my wisdom for u to improve your stealth………….

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