6 bad party fouls

September 18th, 2007 | by Chris Mendes

So, this past weekend, I hosted a 99 party. A 99 party is my personal invention where only 99 drinks are served (although I also had some beers for the more wimpy of my friends). 99 drinks consist of 99 Bannanas, 99 Berries, 99 Cherries, 99 Apples, 99 Oranges, and 99 Peaches (which I was only ever able to find in Miami, but it is well worth it if you can find it). All these drinks are schnappses (?) that are 99-proof (44.5% alcohol, e.g. more than vodka).

Anyhow, many as you say “party fouls” were committed throughout the night and I wanted to share with you college students what not to do at a party. Here is some of what happened:

1. People talked about school. It seems like almost everybody at this party talked about school even though I told them all it was the only thing I did not want them to do. It might be a good ice-breaker to ask someone about their major, but is that seriously all you can come up with? Isn’t the whole point of the party to forget about classes for just this night?

2. People spilled drinks. This one seems almost inevitable. No matter where a party is, who comes to the party, what people drink, people will always find a way to get their favorite drink onto your favorite laptop.

3. People running around and making way too much noise. I am glad my neighbors were out latter than my party lasted and that no police or RAs came by our place as if there would have, they would have discovered a crazy girl who decided to run around the hallway and do exercise because she hadn’t had the opportunity to do so during the day.
4. People sleeping on the floor. The same girl from number 3 also decided, in her drunkenness, to sleep on the floor in the middle of the party. Go home, if you’re that tired.
5. People sleeping in our beds. Okay, unless you are actually sleeping with us, do not sleep in our beds. The same girl from number 4 actually slept in one of my roommates’ beds and forced him to sleep in the couch. Actually, nobody should sleep over here at all without one of the hosts specifically asking you to (either because you are too drunk or too hot).
6. People throwing up. Please, please, don’t drink so much that you throw up in my other roommate’s trash can. Care to guess who was responsible for this one? I’ll give you a hint: I mentioned her in at least one other spot in this article.

Well that’s about all the bad party fouls that were committed. Take a lesson and don’t do these things at a party because nobody likes them and then consequently, nobody will like you.

[images by Ryan Gageler (top) and Chris Chidsey (bottom)]