How to Get a Hot Girlfriend, Guaranteed!

If you currently do not have a hot girlfriend or have never had one, then you are the problem. Change yourself with these helpful hints and you are sure to get some hot babes crawling all over you. [Note: The lower number means that rule is more important, e.g., rule #1 is the most important, followed by rule #2, etc.]

Rule #1: Stop being yourself. As mentioned above, yourself sucks. If you are reading this article, you probably want to grab some hot girlfriend ass, but you can’t because you don’t have a hot girlfriend. Solution: Do an Obama and change!

Rule #2: Stop being poor. If you are rich, you can get any girl you want. You can just buy women. Not all women can be bought (most of them can), but let’s not get too picky… We just want to get you one hot girlfriend to start with.

Rule #3: Stop having a small penis. If you have a small penis a girl is going to have sex with you and not feel anything, if you even convince her to have sex with you in the first place. Stop having a small penis right now! Wishful thinking is your best tool here. You gotta think really had though. Go!

Rule #4: Stop being skinny/fat/nerdy. All of these can be fixed with enough protein and weight lifting. Go chow down on a pound of tofu and do 500 push ups. Maybe then you will be too tired to care that you do not have a hot girlfriend.

Rule #5: Stop being nice. Women (at least the hot ones) hate nice men. Treat them like crap and they will keep coming back. They are masochistic little creatures.

[Picture by Brandon Shigeta]

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Net Neutrality

Net NeutralityNet neutrality is an increasingly important issue. What is scary is that almost all Americans do not know what it means [source]. Basically, if net neutrality fails what will happen is AT&T, Verizon, and other internet service providers will have full control of what you will be able to see on the internet. They will effectively shut down user-generated content sites like YouTube and smaller, less influential websites like College Being. Click to continue reading…

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Booze Reviews: Spaten Optimator

For the return of Booze Reviews, I’ve decided to do something different. Spaten is one of the five major Munich breweries (the other four being Paulaner, Augustiner, Löwenbräu, and Hofbräu), and as such they have several hundred years of experience brewing awesome beer. They make several varieties, including a pilsner and an Oktoberfest brew, but my personal favorite is the Optimator.

Click to continue reading…

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Friday Funnies: Little Johnny and the Math Teacher

The math teacher saw that little Johnny wasn’t paying attention in class. She called on him and said, “Johnny! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?” Little Johnny quickly replied, “NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!”

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Nerds: Making Things More Complicating Since 1974

1974: The first PC invented. We all thought our lives were good with normal non-HD non-satellite TV, tape and record players, and regular house phones (half of which didn’t even have a buttons). Now here comes the PC. I am attached to my computer because of work and I am thankful as my computer gives me work, but before the PC, life was simpler. (P.S. This is just a guess as I am not that old. This is a college website you old fogies!)

2008: Nerds make ordering pizza three to the third power times more complicating. It’s called Pizza Party. You can now order Domino’s Pizza through your computer using terminal. Woo hoo! I was waiting for this day since my first days of playing with DOS. Why waste that whole minute on the phone? Spend it on your computer since you love your computer and cannot bare being away from it. You nerd!

[Download Pizza Party here] [via Digg.com]

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