Booze Reviews Platinum: SBC Russian Imperial Stout

The Sacramento Brewing Company is a pretty solid microbrewery in, you guessed it, Sacramento, California. Their Russian Imperial Stout, according to the label, has won a couple of awards at various brewing competitions. Personally, though? Not my thing. It certainly lives up to its name–this is a hell of a beer, clocking in at 8.1% ABV and pouring like molasses, with a dark brown head. I made the mistake of pouring it cold at first. When cold, this beer tastes utterly too sweet, like a Spaten Optimator with a cup of corn syrup dumped in. But allowing it to warm up a bit, to about 50-55 degrees, made it quite a bit better. It’s a good beer to sit and sip, and since it comes in a 22 oz. bottle you’ll be sipping for a while. Served at the proper temperature, I’d drink it again if it happened to be available, but it’s not something I’d order on a regular basis or pay a whole lot of money for. If you’re into extremely rich, stout beers, give it a try, for the sweet-looking label if nothing else. Otherwise, let this one be.

Tomorrow: The final installment of my expensive-ass beer reviews.

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Friday Funnies: President Bush Learns a New Trick

While visiting England, George Bush is invited to tea with the Queen. He asks her what her leadership philosophy is. She says that it is to surround herself with intelligent people. He asks how she knows if they’re intelligent. “I do so by asking them the right questions,” says the Queen. “Allow me to demonstrate.”

She phones Tony Blair and says, “Mr. Prime Minister. Please answer this question: Your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or sister. Who is it?” Tony Blair responds ,”It’s me, ma’am.”

“Correct. Thank you and good-bye, sir,” says the Queen. She hangs up and says, “Did you get that, Mr. Bush?”

“Yes ma’am. Thanks a lot. I’ll definitely be using that!”

Upon returning to Washington, he decides he’d better put the Chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee to the test. He summons Jesse Helms to the White House and says, “Senator Helms, I wonder if you can answer a question for me.”

“Why, of course, sir. What’s on your mind?”

“Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”

Helms hems and haws and finally asks, “Can I think about it and get back to you?”

Bush agrees, and Helms leaves. Helms immediately calls a meeting of other senior Republican senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, but nobody can come up with an answer. Finally, in desperation, Helms calls Colin Powell at the State Department and explains his problem.

“Now lookee here, son, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and this child is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?”

Powell answers immediately, “It’s me, of course, you dumb cracker.”

Much relieved, Helms rushes back to the White House and exclaims, “I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It’s Colin Powell!”

And Bush replies in disgust, “Wrong, you dumb shit, it’s Tony Blair!”

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Booze Reviews Platinum: Franziskaner Hefe-weisse Dunkel

Now this is a good dark wheat beer! Similar in style to the Ayinger reviewed earlier this week, but slightly darker in color and with a fuller flavor. Still smooth, as good wheat beers usually are, but it tastes more like a real beer. Also, at $2 for a 500ml bottle, this was the cheapest of the beers currently under review. This one should not be missed. Whether you’re a novice beer drinker looking to move away from Corona and Heinekin, or a beer lover in the mood for a good wheat beer, the Franziskaner Hefe-Weisse Dunkel will suit you wonderfully. Enjoy!

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Friday Funnies: Bush’s Brain

George W. Bush went to see the doctor to get the results of his brain scan. The doctor said: “Mr. President, I have some bad news for you. First, we have discovered that your brain has two sides: the left side and the right side.”

Bush interrupted, “Well, that’s normal, isn’t it? I thought everybody had two sides to their brain?”

The doctor replied, “That’s true, Mr. President. But your brain is very unusual because on the left side there isn’t anything right, while on the right side there isn’t anything left.”

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Booze Reviews Platinum: Downtown Brown

Downtown Brown is a light brown ale created by the Lost Coast Brewery of Eureka, California. It’s quite smooth, but also has a full taste–similar in some ways to Newcastle and other more well-known brown ales. It’s got hops, but not so much that a novice beer drinker would find it too bitter. All in all, an excellent, well-round microbrewed ale. And the bottle art is pretty awesome, too. Pick some up if you can find it where you are.

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