College Being

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The casino… a favorite college pass time. Before heading off to Vegas, Foxwoods, a Native American reservation, international waters, or Canada here are some tips that will ensure you have at least a half chance of doubling your money:

Play Little

The basics behind ever casino is statistics. The more you play, the more your chances of losing money. Casinos will not mind if you win some of their money because on average they will win

Play Smart

Play only games that have high odds. Some games will rape you over in unfair odds. Here is a basic guide:

Blackjack: Every time you play Blackjack you have almost a 50% chance of winning. In Blackjack, you try to add up your card values so they are close to 21, but do not go over. Aces can be worth either 1 or 11 and face cards are worth ten. You play against the dealer and not other players. The way the casino wins is if they tie your score or if you bust (you get more than 21).

Roulette: Roulette gives you a 47.3% chance of doubling your money if you bet on reds, blacks, evens, or odds. It is a much more exciting game than that however. You place bets on any one number (1 in 36 chance of winning); any two, three, or four touching numbers; any column of numbers; and more. There are so many types of bets in roulette that it will be sure to keep your interest up. A ball will land on a random number and if you chose that number or if it is red/black, odd/even, whatever you bet on…you win!

Poker: Any poker game in a casino where you play against other players and not the dealer is generally a good idea. The casino takes in a specific amount of money from every winning hand called a rake and in return you do not have to play against their odds. No Limit Texas Hold ‘Em is my personal favorite, but there are dozens of different types of poker games available so find a table and just ask how to play if you are unsure.

Tips

1. If you are unsure about something, ask the dealer. They are generally very nice people.

2. Tip your dealer. If you tip your dealer they will be more willing to help you. Plus, it is just common courtesy. (Note: Do not expect the dealer to go easy on you or cheat for you. That stuff may only fly in Chinatown)

3. If you go to a big casino-hotel ask for a comp card and use it at every game. What it does is track your wins/losses so just in case you lose a lot or even if you just play a lot, you will probably get a lot of free gifts from the casino.

4. Talk to your fellow gamblers and have a good time.

5. Do not drink too much. It will impede your judgment and you will end the night buying Patron tequila shots for the entire table and out a few thousand dollars.

6. Have fun!

3 Thoughts

Today is Charles Darwin’s 200th birthday. Let us celebrate in this British gentleman’s honor and prove that evolution has selected men and women to enjoy alcohol.

From Wikipedia (in case you seriously have been living in a cave for the last 150 years):

Charles Robert Darwin FRS (12 February 1809 – 19 April 1882) was an English naturalist who realised and demonstrated that all species of life have evolved over time from common ancestors through the process he called natural selection. The fact that evolution occurs became accepted by the scientific community and much of the general public in his lifetime, while his theory of natural selection came to be widely seen as the primary explanation of the process of evolution in the 1930s, and now forms the basis of modern evolutionary theory. In modified form, Darwin’s scientific discovery is the unifying theory of the life sciences, providing logical explanation for the diversity of life.

At Edinburgh University Darwin neglected medical studies to investigate marine invertebrates, then the University of Cambridge encouraged a passion for natural science. His five-year voyage on HMS Beagle established him as an eminent geologist whose observations and theories supported Charles Lyell’s uniformitarian ideas, and publication of his journal of the voyage made him famous as a popular author. Puzzled by the geographical distribution of wildlife and fossils he collected on the voyage, Darwin investigated the transmutation of species and conceived his theory of natural selection in 1838. Although he discussed his ideas with several naturalists, he needed time for extensive research and his geological work had priority. He was writing up his theory in 1858 when Alfred Russel Wallace sent him an essay which described the same idea, prompting immediate joint publication of both of their theories.

His 1859 book On the Origin of Species established evolutionary descent with modification as the dominant scientific explanation of diversification in nature. He examined human evolution and sexual selection in The Descent of Man, and Selection in Relation to Sex, followed by The Expression of the Emotions in Man and Animals. His research on plants was published in a series of books, and in his final book, he examined earthworms and their effect on soil.

In recognition of Darwin’s pre-eminence, he was one of only five 19th-century UK non-royal personages to be honoured by a state funeral, and was buried in Westminster Abbey, close to John Herschel and Isaac Newton.

Related: YouTube video of a British man explaining how old the earth is and making fun of creationists. It is related because the man is British.

2 Thoughts

This past Sunday, Comcast in Arizona mistakenly showed a 30-second clip of a porn video to its viewers watching the Superbowl in analogue TV. The video is below, but is is definitely NSFW and contains a little too much penis.

Related: Following is the video from Janette Jackson and Justin Timberlack’s waldrobe malfunction:

1 Thought

The following is a real ad that ran on January 20th by Veet, a hair removal product.

Related: No More Bush Day

Think First!