Lulu’s Lunacy: Abstinence Only

Hi everyone!

Time for another dose of lunacy. Pretty soon you’ll be addicted.

Long ago, I found this hilarious website, but I forgot about it until I saw a sketch on Daily Show today. This website makes abstinence look great, fun, and even possibly sexually appealing!

Highlights from AbstinenceOnly.org (seriously, it exists -Lulu)

Home Page

“Here’s some fun things that faith partners can do besides have sex.” -Yay, fun!
“1) Go out to a movie or watch TV! Make some popcorn and have a popcorn party!” -Boring
“2) Engage in wholesome sports activities or play board games like checkers, chess or Monopoly!” -Yawn
“3) Rigorously rub your face, body and genitalia against those of your faith partner until orgasm. (Also known as ‘faith-fucking’)” -Now, we’re talking!

Ask Dr. Frist

“Remember also that whenever you masturbate, God kills a kitten.” –Geez, only one kitten?

“A Special Note to you Gals…Girls, make no mistake: your virginity is the most valuable and precious thing you have. Don’t waste it. I say this not only as a doctor and man of faith, but also as a political leader with close personal ties to rich, powerful men willing to pay millions for virgins in their twenties. Seriously: Millions.” -Sounds like a good deal, so…who do I call?

Homosexual Abstinence

“The Bible states it plainly in Leviticus: “Man shall not lie with man as he does with woman.” So there you have it: Standard Missionary is right out. For the gals: you’re off the hook. Anything goes. As far as the Lord’s concerned, it’s Beaver Season all year ‘round.” -O RLY? Dam…

Do I have your interest piqued now? For more abstinence action, visit www.abstinenceonly.org

6 Comments

8 Motivational Movies That Every Student Must Watch

There is never too much motivation needed by students because there are times when things can get a little challenging. So much to get through in a short space of time is what is required. If you have a strong list of motivational and inspirational movies, books or speeches, you might just get through it a bit easier. It can be bibliography movies or just plain old motivation. We’ve got you covered with 8 of the most motivational movies for students to watch.

1. The Greatest Debaters

With Denzel Washington as the director and Oprah Winfrey as the producer, you know it’s going to be a good movie. We all like a true story, because it tells us that it is not hearsay, but everything that happened actually did. This story is based on the life of Melvin B. Tolson, who was a professor and a great poet. He inspired his students to challenge Harvard University at their debate championship. Trust me; you will be very motivated and inspired after this movie.

2. The Paper Chase

Coping with the endless amount of studying can make a student a little despondent. Throw in some everyday challenges to go with that and you might find yourself believing that you cannot do it. This movie is based on the character, James T. Hart, who is a Harvard student. However, he faces many bumps in his road during his first year at Harvard. This student shows you that no matter what stands in your way, with hard work and dedication, you can get anything done. You will definitely find inspiration to finish that apa bibliography after this movie.

3. I am Kalam

We forget sometimes that there are students who have to fight for the right to good education. It is not a given that you have this privilege and it should not be taken for granted. In this movie, the character has to fight for his education and it proves that every child, no matter where he/she is, has the right to a good education. This will help you to appreciate what you have.

Click to continue reading…

1 Comment

My First Post: Top Ten Reasons Why You Will Read My Posts

Hi everyone!

This is my very first time writing for Collegebeing. This is very exciting! I guess you are all curious as to who I am, but that will have to wait for another time. For now, I would like to recruit as many readers as possible, and since I enjoy reading Top Ten lists, here is my very own:

TOP TEN REASONS WHY YOU WILL READ MY POSTS

You will read my posts because…

10. You have a kind and cherishing heart and would love to nourish a blossoming young writer.

9. You have good taste.

8. You f34r my n4k3d 1337 ski11z.

7. You would like to read good literature but are too lazy to visit the library.

6. You have nothing better to do.

5. I know how to kill you using only diet coke and some cardboard.

4. I can click my mouse 5000 times in under 1 minute.

3. I am the puppet master of the world.

2. I am the closest you can get to ultimate wisdom.

1. I am undeniably irresistible, and you would like some more.

15 Comments

How You Can Get Pregnant and How You Can’t

Ways you can get pregnant:

  1. Have unprotected sex with someone of the opposite sex.
  2. If number 1 fails, go to a fertility clinic.
  3. If number 2 fails, you are infertile. That sucks!

Ways you cannot get pregnant:

[Picture source]

8 Comments

A Proper Way to Deal with Antagonistic Feelings against France

In order to protest against France who attempted to politicize the 2008 Beijing Olympic Games by impeding the torch relay in Paris and even financing the brutal Tibet insurrectionists who had killed thousands of innocent Tibetans, Chinese people all over the world have stuck together and decided spontaneously to launch a boycott of French goods, namely a support to things made in china. One of the hottest resisting plans talked most frequently those days is to boycotting the internationally famous retailer, the French hypermarket Carrefour.

It stands to reason that Chinese people will resent and rebel against the inaccurate reports of the western media as well as their malicious intentions to support Dalai Lama so as to split China, especially when we are actually the victims worthy of sympathy, consolation and support. Whatever small power and influence it might bring about, boycotting French enterprises like Carrefour, as some Chinese people expected, is the most immediate and effective way that every single Chinese people could do to support the home made goods and resist the foreign products. Indeed, the national resentment and anger with a sense of being insulted might, to some extent be vented through this way. It is self evident that as a citizen of a sovereign country, every Chinese should contribute himself /herself if necessary to safeguarding and maintaining China’s unity and dignity. Click to continue reading…

16 Comments

Next Entries »
« Previous Entries